21 January 2008


counting days
you know, not since the dark days of fertility treatments and ovulation cycles have I pawed over our calendar so much. It's like I am destined to be a counter of days for my entire life!
Although the shift has moved...from the years of counting days of ovulation and weeks of gestation, to counting days between the milestones in the world of China adoption. As you can see by the sidebar we have our 'stats' posted, we compare notes with families on similar time lines and try to make sense of families that travelled before us. Trying to pull 'numbers' that make sense to us into some semblance of what the median is...but there is no median anymore, it seems there is a fissure in time, when all the numbers we used to rely on kind of got sucked into a wormhole and get thrown out to us in spits and spurts..not making sense like they used to...just making us nervous and obsessive...and sometimes grumpy...oh yes my friends, I can be grumpy!!! Mike can attest to that! But the reality is...we just want our children home, safe in our arms. Today is day 42 for us of waiting for LOA. We were told 60-90 days...so we may only be halfway there. But then there were some who waited 150 days...which is sad...and it makes me worry.
When will file reach review?
When will we be in the match room?
When will we get LOA
When will we travel?
When can we look at tickets, and itineraries?
When will Paisley be placed in our arms?
When will be able to call her ours...Forever?
When?
update:...sorry, Day 52, not 42...math skills bad!

12 comments:

kitchu said...

Oh man I'm in tears reading this, feeling almost acutely that ache in your heart. I am hoping for you, and with you, for sooner sooner sooner, not later.

How I wish I could stop by with a nice cabernet, and we could bundle up and sip wine together, musing about life with 2 little girls in the mix.

Love you.

Gail said...

I don't really understand the China adoption system but I hope you are more than half way to LOA.
Gail

Yoli said...

[[[Hugs]]]

Patricia said...

Sending you a great big fat humongous HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like Kris, when I read your post, I said, "Oh how I wish I lived near Hayley!!" I would scoop up Kiara & run right over to you...the girls could make mischief...uh, I mean play...& we could commiserate over the process....

Hang in there, friend!!

kitchu said...

I'm seeing your latest post in bloglines but when I open your blog to comment, it's not here...

I'm so sorry about review...wish I had the right words, or could wave a wand and make the CCAA work faster.

Snowflowers Mum said...

i deleted it Kris, it was too depressing.

Carrie said...

I hope and pray your LOA will reach you soon and we can see each other in China!

Anna B. said...

The uncertainty of it all is the worst. Counting and waiting!!! A huge hug to you and lots of encouragement and prayers for a 'sooner not later' LOA!!

Tamara said...

Oh no, I should have read in reverse order!

This waiting once you've seen your baby has to be so, so, hard, and this uncharted course thing going on in China in both lines is hard for everyone too.

Keri said...

Day 52 sounds ever so much better than day 42! I think you are going to be one of the lucky ones. I found your blog from Stephanie of Ni Hao Y'all and I have been following along and waiting for your little one to make it home. I look forward to the post with the headline LOA!!!

Keri

"M2" said...

just another form of torture.
keep counting.......
it goes soooo slowly

JMCS said...

I sure hope TA comes soon. I can't wait for you guys to finally hold Paisley and bring her home. I am sending good luck your way my friends.

Hugs,
Jonni